Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Legendary Masturbator

The man known as "the masturbator"(only to himself) calls on weekdays and expresses his desire to run through the streets in a trench coat and flash homeless women, potentially accosting them and bringing them to his apartment downtown and well you get the idea. He smokes a bong while talking to me and describes the pages and pages of porno taped up on the walls and the sides of the desks.(or his kitchen table) He also bangs a broom or a flashlight or something against the phone and says "is that a hard fuckin dick little girl" Of course I say "hell yes it is baby". He asks "have you heard about me from the other girls on this line?"
"Of Course, they tell me all about you baby, your fucking famous around here"
"Do the supervisors talk about me too"
"Oh yeah, everyone knows about the masturbator. We can't believe how much you jack off. You're the most hardcore guy out there"
This masturbator then informs me that he jacks off for 4 hours a day every day and has spent 16,000 dollars in the last some odd years on phone sex and hookers..not to mention whisky, pot and cocaine. He then bangs his wooden cock againt the phone for 10 more minutes, asks me my opinion about the percentage of sex addicted men women find acceptable and hangs up. He then calls back 3 more times and the above scenario is repeated. Does he ever cum? The world may never know...

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